As the literature referenced below, written throughout the early to mid-20th-century tells us, your man is one cold meal short of leaving you. Read the hilariously old tips for keeping your man happy in and out of bed. However, some tips still ring true today. How times haven’t changed much.
1. Don’t Talk
Refer to the first four commandments on “How to be a Good Wife” in Edward Podolsky’s 1943 book Sex Today in Wedded Life:
Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman’s business.
Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
In his 1951 book, Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage, Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer has more to add to that. Asking for things is “nagging”:
I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look.
2. Bad Cooking Will Drive Your Man to Seedy Saloons
Reverend Tyrer states further:
A social service meeting, an afternoon tea, a matinee, a what-not, is no excuse for there being no dinner ready when a husband comes home from a hard day’s work.
Housekeeping accomplishments and cooking ability are, of course, positive essentials in any true home, and every wife should take a reasonable pride in her skill. Happiness does not flourish in an atmosphere of dyspepsia.
3. Be the Hot Steak, Not the Pork Chop
Speaking of cooking, Reverend Tyrer has a metaphor for you.
Picture a woman preparing a fine meal for her husband. “She remembered his choice of meat and was careful to get an extra-fine cut…her best cutlery and dishes and finest linen are all in evidence, and a little colorful decoration has been tastefully displayed….and as he comes into the house she greets him with a smile of welcome and a touch of manifest love.”
But say that same wife “is constantly setting him down to indigestible meals, cold and unappetizing, with nothing properly cooked, set out on a kitchen table with a dirty cloth, she need not be surprised if her husband frequently telephones from the office that business will prevent him from being home for dinner.”
4. Don’t Be a Sexual Vampire or a Frigid Franny
tells us in his book Woman, Her Sex and Love Life in 1927 warns us of the lures of women becoming “sexual vampires”, sucking the life force right out of your husband:
Just as the vampire sucks the blood of its victims in their sleep while they are alive, so does the woman vampire suck the life and exhaust the vitality of her male partner—or “victim.”
Now, if you are one of those frigid or sexually anesthetic women, don’t be in a hurry to inform your husband about it. To the man it makes no difference in the pleasurableness of the act whether you are frigid or not unless he knows that you are frigid. And he won’t know unless you tell him, and what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him. Heed this advice. It has saved thousands of women from trouble.
5. Pink Panties are a Must
That the underwear should be spotlessly clean goes without saying, but every woman should wear the best quality underwear that she can afford. And the color should be preferably pink. And lace and ruffles, I am sorry to say, add to the attractiveness of underwear, and are liked by the average man.
6. Let Him Have Some Fun Now and Then
Dr. Robinson says that ultimately, a wife will react to infidelity as her heart dictates:
But in case of an occasional lapse on the part of the husband—there a bit of advice may prove acceptable. And my advice would be: forgive and forget. Or still better—make believe that you know nothing. An occasional lapse from the straight path does not mean that he has ceased to love you. He may love you as much; he may love you a good deal more.
7. Your Husband is the Boss of You
It is fitting to close with the most opposed belief by the women’s movement written by renowned eugenicist Professor B.G. Jefferis, in his 1921 book Searchlights on Health, The Science of Eugenics:
The Number One Rule. Reverence Your Husband.—He sustains by God’s order a position of dignity as head of a family, head of the woman. Any breaking down of this order indicates a mistake in the union, or a digression from duty.
While many people get a special thrill photographing or making videos of themselves naked &/or inflagrante delecto then posting it on Tumblr, we do not.
1) Scripturally, the sexual union is between a man & his wife (wives). It’s not supposed to be a public spectacle for the amusement of strangers.
2) The pics & vids we have taken of ourselves were in private & under the trust that it would remain private. I intend to have a long, happy life ahead w these women. I will do nothing that would violate their trust in my confidence whether its ‘significant’ to others or not. Nothing told to me in secret or done in secret will be revealed publicly.
3) That doesn’t prevent me from offering advice or suggestions based on my experiences (or theirs) on various aspects of marriage, sexuality, polygyny, childbirth, etc. It’s one thing to discuss sex or specific acts in a general way since everyone is different, but it’s another matter if I were to give specific & personal details of her responses when we do those same acts.
4) Your mind & imagination is your #1 sex organ. Cultivate it. I probably won’t even post face shots of any of us, but that shouldn’t prevent u from developing a healthy imagination which u can use in your favor. Don’t let your own mind drag u down.
1) Having seen dozens of marriages in both mine & my 1st wife’s family last 40+ years, I have seen the best & worst last “til death do us part” through all of the above. I did not intend to claim that all monogamous marriages make it to the Golden Anniversary that way, but it’s a very common way. The comment was intended as a comparison in the rugged flexibility of monogamy vs the delicate balance that poly requires.
2) Many people feel uncomfortable discussing sex, the Bible, & especially Biblical sex. They often have been beat over the head w poor interpretations & opinion based ideas w only the glint of Biblical support. In reality, the Bible is a XXX-rated book that’s banned almost worldwide & speaks frankly about subjects that many want swept under the rug. I don’t quote the Bible to “make it seem better” but as a way to get people to open their eyes to the beautiful, sexual love story between God & mankind that is at the heart of the most reviled book in history. I’m sorry that u don’t like my Husband but that’s your loss not mine.
Funny? In what way? I’m glad u find humor in it, but, while not everything is intended serious, very little was intended as a joke.
AT&Ts Internet service in my small town went from poor to almost non-existent. It’s not as active as it was, but I haven’t given up on it either.
To all of my followers:
Please boost my last post. I tried to post about the groups on Facebook and immediately had people telling me “They have a right to freedom of speech”, so I deleted my status. These people are disgusting, racist, sexist, rape condoning pigs. I don’t believe people like that should be allowed to exercise their right for freedom of speech, especially on a public forum.
This post is sad because that’s the point of the ‘freedom of speech’. The rights listed aren’t a popularity contest or democratic in any way. It’s a protection of the individual from the group. If u believe that a homosexual should be able to speak openly about their same gender sexuality, then a heterosexual should be afforded the same protection to speak about mixed gender sexuality. If an atheist should be able to espouse that there is no deity of any kind, then theists should be able to espouse their deity. If rejection of speech that u like is wonderful, then speech u don’t like is equally wonderful. Just remember that being free to speak doesn’t mean that anyone’s going to listen. If I’m not ‘return following’ your blog, that’s why. I don’t want to listen to you. Get over it.
Thanks. I try to use sugar, honey, etc. I don’t care for artificial sweeteners. Ha! Ha!
I’m sorry that your marriage fell apart. Polygamy isn’t for everyone. Each has to be committed to the marriage or it’s doomed. Monogamy is often preferred because it allows the most flexibility in headship, submission, etc. It doesn’t take a spiritual giant to stay married to one woman for 50 years, just determination, stubbornness, bad circumstances, or a poor self-image of ‘doing better’. Poly, on the other hand, requires the best from everyone. One selfish baby will spoil the whole life for everyone. Someone will crack & down it goes. I’ve only had 2 wives since January, so I’m not an expert by any means. But we’ve weathered the early storms, & the tempests seem to be losing force & frequency: just like when I married my 1st wife.